I was talking with a friend recently. During that conversation he told me of an interesting comment from one of his college advisers. The comment was “How have you “SHOULD” on yourself today?”
There are so many things that we “Should” do.
We SHOULD:
- Dress this way.
- Make this much.
- Talk this way.
- Act this way.
- Take this job.
- Hang out with these people.
This list goes on and on. But the real question is which of these things do we do?
We forget that the word “SHOULD” is a subjective word. There are and will be many things that we “SHOULD” do in our life. How do we know the difference? How do we prioritize? That is the challenge.
The “SHOULDs” that we choose to follow impact our daily lives, our souls and those around us. A “SHOULD” can and many times does keep us from doing the wants, dreams, needs that we are meant to be doing. “Should” can keep us from being who we really are truly meant to become.
Doing what you “Should” do can hurt your very soul if you don’t look at the big picture question of “Why” and “for whom” SHOULD you be doing this something.
I don’t claim to have the right or best answer for the question of what I or we “SHOULD” be doing on a daily basis. But I don’t know if that is the key question. As I look at this notion of how have I “Should” on myself today, I wonder if the question is really about the “SHOULDs” of today or are they the bigger “SHOULDs” that I focus upon.
Maybe the question, maybe MY question, about “SHOULDs” needs to focus on the bigger picture. Now the question to ask becomes “What bigger picture?”. I can’t answer that for anyone else but me. As for me, I am looking at the bigger picture of how do I become a better person for myself and my loved ones. I have focused on many “Shoulds” in my life and at the time, in their own little way, they were important. However, I didn’t have a bigger picture in mind.
I am waking up to that notion that I need the bigger picture to help me focus on the “SHOULDs” that I accept and to which I put in effort. I know I will make mistakes. But I also know that is ok, because to make a mistake at least means I was trying. To make a mistake means I now know a way not to do something and can try something else. And to make a mistake and then seek to learn from it means I am taking steps in the right direction for the true bigger picture.
I can’t tell you what the bigger picture is as it depends on you. What I will say is that when you look at all the things being thrown at you, all the things you Should be doing, it behooves you to take a step back and define your bigger picture. Don’t just follow someone else’s big picture blindly, make sure it is a good fit for you and your big picture.
When is comes to choices Mark Twain wrote very insightful piece on choices in life or the lack of making a choice. Mark Twain once described a man who died and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. Knowing that St. Peter was very wise, the man asked a question that he had wondered about his entire life.
He said, “Saint Peter, I have been interested in military history for many years. Who was the greatest general of all time?” Saint Peter quickly responded, “oh that’s a simple question. It’s that man right over there.” “You must be mistaken,” responded the man, now very perplexed. “I knew that man on earth, and he was just a common laborer.” “That’s right, my friend,” assured Saint Peter. “He would have been the greatest general of all time, if he had been a general.”
I hope this has been meaningful to you. If you would like to learn more about my new journey please check me out, https://masonvandyke.com/
As I travel this on-going personal path of reflection, I find it helpful, actually needed, that I talk with and learn from others. I would appreciate and love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Please feel free to e-mail me your thoughts, Mason@masonvandyke.com
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